From the Archives: Hair We Go Again

While I put the finishing touches on my project, please enjoy some posts chronicling my natural hair journey.

original post first published February 16, 2012

When I last left you, I had decided forgo the big curls and opt for a sleek pixie cut.  Yes, I went back to the relaxer.  I can remember sitting in the stylists chair, looking at how bone straight my hair had become after applying the chemicals.  It was surprising.  I had gone from a voluminous, wide, halo like style to a Morticia Addams, sleek and swirling around my shoulders style.  The temptation to keep my hair long and flowing was great, I’ll admit. I knew, however, that long hair on me ends up in a ponytail after about five minutes.  Coupled with the fact that M and C nearly had an aneurysm every time I would get my hair done by the Dominicans, I felt like I was being kind of hypocritical if I came home with my hair swinging. When the stylist asked me what we going to do with my hair, I said, “Cut it.” So I lost many inches, but came out with a super cute cut.

10 months later,  I decided to go back to my natural curly ‘do. I had gotten spoiled by being natural.  It had been years since I’d gone to the salon and now I was running over there more often than I care to admit.  The time, maintenance, and upkeep involved was not fun.  I missed the ease that natural hair afforded me. My hair had become a chore.  I was due for a touch up and skipped it.  Another few weeks went by and my new growth was reaching the stage where I either had to press it out, relax it out or cut off the straight pieces.  I calling my stylist on the fly and saying, “Can I just come in and have you cut the relaxer out?” I went over there, bumped the customer in the chair (sorry, Mom. Didn’t know that was your appointment) and literally five minutes later, I was relaxer free.  I felt like myself again.

That was November of 2010 and I’m still trying to figure out my hair.

I don’t know why I was surprised to learn that harsh chemical treatments might have long term effects on my hair.  What used to be a pretty consistent curl pattern from front to back has morphed into a more relaxed pattern in the front moving towards more tightly coiled curls in the back.  For those curly girls out there, from my forehead to my crown, I’m like a 3b and from my crown the nape of my neck I’m a 4a. I kept telling myself that the front was still perm that was growing out and that I just needed to go get it trimmed off once and for all.
I’m not a professional stylist and my natural, curly girl community hadn’t grown to where it is now.  I went back to my old routine of DIY hair care.  After a few months, I realized, I’d outgrown that, too.
The fact is, I’ve really grown in how I come to care for my hair and how I understand my hair. My mother has a totally different hair texture than I do; my thick curls are courtesy of my paternal grandmother — the one who is always asking me when I’m going to fixwith my hair.  When I was younger, mother’s solution to my kinky curls was to perm often. Whereas she might have had her hair straightened every 8 to 10 months, I was going every 8 to 10 weeks.  Crazy, I know.  But she didn’t know what to do and I learned to care for my hair by watching her do my own.  Here’s how clueless I was. . .I had no idea you could buy a perm kit at the drugstore and do it yourself.  When I was in need of touch-up to my roots and didn’t have enough money, I just told the stylist to cut it all off.    It was just hair. What’s the big deal?  I had about an inch of curly hair all around and the only thing I did was add some gel and roll.  As it grew into a more fuller afro, I would have my brother or my dad trim it up with their clippers.  Seriously, I was about as low maintenance as you could get. I didn’t know anything about curl types or sealing moisture into my hair with oil or satin pillowcases.  I don’t know what I was busy with, but it certainly wasn’t my hair.
This time around, though, I decided the best way for me to get the results that I wanted:

 (i.e. my old hair)
I needed to understand what I had and how best to treat it.
So, I talked with some friends about their curly hair experiences.  I listened to other curly girls expound on their love and loathe relationship with natural hair, everything from botched cuts from professionals claiming to know how to shape and cut to that one day when the stars aligned, the humidity was just right and the curls were perfect.   I started a Pinterest inspiration board, teeming with images of awesome natural hair, so that when my resolve started to crack, I could bolster myself up.   went to websites and looked up curl types, best hair brushes, highly recommended de-tanglers and so forth. I tried different products. . .many different products.
My arsenal of products
I found a stylist in a local salon who, after a lengthy conversation, said she would be able to trim out the rest of the relaxer (I knew there was some still there!) and get me on my way to my curls of yore.  When we met, I discovered she wore her hair naturally (bonus!) and was really listening to my concerns and needs about my hair.  She was the one who told me that in truth, there wasn’t much relaxer left in my hair. The scraggly pieces I was seeing was how my natural hair responded to the relaxer over time.  Whether or not the front would match the back would remain to be seen.From that appointment on, I have been more pro-active in what I do to my hair.  There’s more de-tangling involved. More parting my hair into quadrants and applying product on tedious section at a time, but I’m beginning to see more of what I want and less of what I don’t.  I invested in a Denman brush that I quickly gave to the girls, and a Tangle Teezer, which is fan-freaking-tastic. I got my hands on another set of products called Komaza and thus, adequately armed, jumped back into the natural, curly girl fray.  Here’s what happened.
Took off the sleep cap to reveal this Medusa-esque tangle of hair.  Into the shower, I go.

I washed with Miss Jessie’s Super Slip Sudsy Shampoo.  It’s very slippery in your hands, but feels tacky once it’s on your hair.  It claims to remove all product build-up and leave your hair manageable, but my hair felt really dried out, even while wet (if that makes sense).  I suppose that was a testament to how truly clean my hair was.  After the shampoo, I used Komaza’s Califia Leave-In Conditioner and combed it through with my Tangle Teezer.  I wrapped a tee-shirt around my head, got out of the shower, and got dressed.  Once I was dressed, I unwound the tee-shirt and my hair was very damp. I sectioned it off and then used Komaza’s Califia Moisturizing Cream and finger styled the rest.

Squeaky clean. Hair was still pretty wet. Just put in the product.

By the end of the day, I was still pretty pleased with my hair, though there was some curl shrinkage. I really want a product that is going to be heavy enough to let my curls hang down, but not something that is going to dry them out and cause frizz.
Not a bad start. There’s room for improvement and I’m talking about my own technique. I plan to go back to the salon, have my ends trimmed to keep things healthy and just take the rest one day at a time. I’ve also decided to stop calling this experience a “hair battle”; my hair is probably taking offense at that and I need everyone to cooperate.

What has been your biggest challenge and/or success with your hair?

IN: hair ON: May 30, 2014 BY: Hilary 0 COMMENT
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