From the Archives: And Again With the Hair

While I’m putting the finishing touches on my project, over the next few days, please enjoy several entries about my hair journey.

original post first published January 04, 2010*

As I’ve talked about again and again, I’ve got this thing with my hair. Well, here we go one more time.

This was me in 1999.

I was 21, looking more like 12, but pretty cute overall.  Bright eyes, big smile and pretty forgettable hair. I had worn it relaxed for as long as I could remember.  My hair was just that — hair.  It was not something I worried about much until I needed to get it touched up or trimmed. The Hubs and I were dating and he invited me to a formal (you probably recall this story from a previous post). At the time, I couldn’t afford to get the full on relaxer that I so desperately needed.  Somehow, I had gone years not knowing that I could have picked up a $5 box kit of Dark and Lovely at K-Mart off of Bypass Rd. I couldn’t go to this dance with several inches of new growth, so I just cut my hair.

As in cut it all off.


I hadn’t told anyone I was going to do it. I didn’t’ even know I was going to do it until I was in the chair and said, “Let’s just cut it.”  Little did I know how my relationship with my hair would change.  I’m not just talking about the day to day maintenance of my hair, but how I viewed my hair in relation to myself and to society.  I had unknowingly started down a path that would come to define a large part of who I am.   Once it was cut, I just let it do it’s own thing which I quickly found out was to just spiral around and around. My hair became an entity unto itself.

Over time, as popularity for natural hair began to swell, terms like “Big Chop” and “hair typing” became more common place.  Instead of just washing and going, I swapped out my regular products for those designed for natural hair.  I can remember discovering Miss Jessie’s products and feeling pretty high falutin’, having to order  ordering Miss Jessie’s Curly Pudding all the way from New York.  When my brother-in-law relocated to Harlem, I tried to recruit him into picking up some bottles for me to bring home so I could save on shipping.  Curly Pudding was my first natural hair product and unbeknownst to me, I was using it the way Anthony Dickey suggested. SN: If you don’t know who Anthony Dickey is, please click on this link. It’s a great article and helpful video.   As for the Miss Jessie’s, I know the Hubs thought I was eating the stuff, the way the jars would empty out in a matter of weeks.  My hair was (and is) thick and saturating those strands required a lot of product.
The next few years found me just rocking the curly ‘fro.  At this point, it has been over 10 years.  10 plus years is a long time with the same hair-do. Think about all of those make-over showers you see on TLC and Bravo.  When someone is stuck in a style rut, what’s one of the first things they do? Change up the hair.
I was definitely in a hair style rut.  Sure, I could I mix it up now and then by pulling it back, blowing it out, wearing pig-tails and whatnot, but for the most part, it was out, large and in charge. I had become known for my hair, often joking that I could never rob a bank because. . .well my hair enters the room before I do.  It has gone from unforgettable to “Look at me!” type hair.  I have experienced an in and out of love relationship with my hair. I won’t say hate, because even on the days when I just want to take some clippers and buzz the whole thing off for being uncooperative, I love, love, love my hair.  Sure, I don’t like strangers wanting to touch it. Combing out the tangles, blowing through conditioner and hoping for low to no humidity every day can get old.  And my hair has been very forgiving of me when I have tortured it by pressing it out, not moisturizing it enough, combing when dry (oops!), not going for trims frequently, and who knows what else.  I can blame some of that early neglect on just sheer ignorance and lack of skills. Now, I know better. I love my hair. I’m cultivating it and learning what it needs.
Aside from the year the Hubs and I got married, it’s been natural a full 10 years. Within the last few years, though I have been toying with the idea of cutting it off and starting over. My chronology may be off, but when Posh debuted her bob, I was like, “That’s it! I’m doing it! I’m cutting it off!” and the Hubs was there to talk me down from the ledge with what has become his standard response: “Why don’t you get some braids?”
Ugh, how I loathe getting my hair braided! I love how it looks, but I can’t sit still for that long. I almost added “anymore”, but I was never good at sitting still period.  If I have 8 hours to give up, is the braid shop really where I want to be? Nope.
Usually after this conversation with the Hubs about my hair, the moment I set foot out the house I, at least half a dozen people would compliment me on my hair. So I would relent and leave my hair alone.
Then Michelle Williams showed up with her pixie, I said, “That’s it! I’m doing it!” and DH pulled me back in. Then Rhianna caused a style frenzy and I said, “I’m all over that!” And even Margene (a.k.aGinnifer Goodwin) got in on the act. It was a vicious cycle until about two days ago. I saw an old picture of Kiera Knightley and dragged DH into that familiar dance of “That’s it! I’m doing it!”
And, then I did.

*This hair cut got progressively shorter as the year went on. While I completely loved the style, by the end of the summer, I’d had enough.

Come back on Friday to see how I transitioned from the pixie to my natural curls.

 

IN: hair ON: May 28, 2014 BY: Hilary 0 COMMENT
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