*cover photo by Tomas Rodriguez via bet.com
Often times when I am in the midst of a mundane task, I let my brain wander where it will. It alights on a memory for a moment, before flitting in another direction, drawn to whatever firing neuron first memory sparked. It happens so fast — you’re folding towels, then you’re thinking about that time you were folding towels with your grandma, then you’re wondering what happened to the ring that she used to wear on her pinky finger because when you see that memory in your mind’s eye, you remember how the ring flashed its stones when she snapped the towels in the air, her arms going taught for a split second before she would draw the towel back in towards her, now neatly pressed in two, and how despite her age, she didn’t have those bat wing arms that old ladies get, and man, I really need to make sure I hit the triceps when I go to the gym next week, which will be the first week in April, and. . .
Just like that, you’ve bounced from one thing to another in a blink of an eye. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and their comment triggers a similar trajectory? They say something that has your train of thought pin-balling helter-skelter in a matter of nanoseconds, and all you do is snort because when you’re brain settles down, it landed on something funny? It happens finger snap fast, yet trying to explain how you got from A to B is like trying to explain a dream (See, I was at my house, but it wasn’t my house and you were there, but it wasn’t really you).
I had that experience like the first example the other day. I was putting clean sheets on V’s bed, and as I billowed the flat sheet up and over her mattress, my brain leapt forward, neurons firing like bottle rockets in the sky. Suddenly, I was filling up with questions, inconsequential questions if I’m really honest, that I really need answers to.
Will you indulge me?
- It all started with the flat sheet. When making the bed, do you place the flat sheet face up with the print is pointing towards the ceiling or face down, with the print against the fitted sheet? Seriously, I need to know. I learned to put the printed side of the sheet pressed against the fitted sheet so that when you fold the sheets back, you can see the print. The Hubs was taught the
wrongother way. Guess which we way we do it now?
- Speaking of beds, do you make your bed in the morning? This is a point of contention in some households, I know. Blessedly, we’re bed makers in the house of Hilary with One L. I get up, I make the bed, then start my day. I have heard the argument that there’s no point in making the bed if you are just going to get back into it at the end of the day. I disagree. To me, coming home to an unmade bed is like coming home to dirty dishes on the counter or wet towels on the floor. I just can’t. And to those people who say it’s better to leave the bed unmade so it can air out while you’re gone during the day? Watchu doin’ you gotta be airin’ out the bed?
- Maybe we’re airing out the bed because of our shower habits. AM or PM Showers? I heard this asked on a radio amongst the morning show hosts and it spiraled into a heated debate. The majority of the hosts were in favor of PM showers because they were “washing off the scuzz of the day”. At first I thought the argument was going to revolve around having to get up early for work and that an evening shower would save her a step. Nope. Repeatedly, one host pointed out that if you get in your bed without washing, you’re just putting all that junk in your sheets and on your pillow. Okay, but wouldn’t it stand to reason that if you shower in the evening and then get up in the morning, you should shower again because you’d just be putting all your nighttime germs into clean clothes?
- And speaking of washing bodies and beds, don’t even get me started on the how often do you change your pjs’/sheets/towels conundrum. If we look back at the PM shower people, you’d be putting a clean body in clean (or maybe slightly used pjs’) on clean or slightly used bed sheets. I’ve heard of people who change their pj’s every night, every three days, every week. Some sheets get changed once a week or once every two weeks. Towels? “I take it on a case by case basis,” one friend told me. Oh, and separate wash cloths for hands and body. Can I be real a second? I’d never heard of that before and it got questioning my whole routine!
- Moving away from the bedroom and bathroom, I need to know: Is it possible to get all of your groceries in one store? This a question that I’ve asked some friends and the response has always been a resounding “No”. It can’t be done, they tell me. Brand loyalty, quality of products, or cost/savings trump convenience of one stop shopping or quality of products does. Example: we get our meat and produce from one place, pantry items from another, and specialty items from a third. Could I get it all at a big box store like Wal-Mart? Probably. I don’t though, because I like getting my pantry items from Target and saving 5%. I get my specialty items from Trader Joe’s; they always have something that I fall in love with which can’t be found anywhere else (have you had their Mochi Rice Snacks? ) or things that just taste better than in other stores. Meat and produce? I get from The Fresh Market or Whole
PaycheckFoods. I guess I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid since I pick up stuff from there. That’s not to say I won’t pop into a Martin’s or Kroger if I need to. I’ve got a favorite grocery store, which is a statement that a) I never thought I’d make and b) reminds me of how deep into this “adulting” thing I really am.
- The rest of my questions are things that I’m just curious about. It’s less “Am I doing this right (or wrong)” and more, “Am I the only one?” For instance, How many times do you hand wash a “Hand-wash Only” item before throwing it in the wash with everything else? I think I may be tattling on myself with this one.
- Have you stuck with your New Year’s Resolution? Maybe a better question would be do you remember your New Year’s Resolution (no, no I don’t).
- Do you do this?
- What do you call a Graphics Interchange Format? You know what I’m talking about. One of these:
Is it “giff” with a hard g or “jiff” with a soft one? The developer of GIFs says it one way (hint, like the peanut butter brand), but some dictionaries use both pronunciations.
- This is probably the most pressing of all. Over or Under?
Got questions? Got answers? Leave them for me in the comments!
Also published on Medium.