Tag: winter

Nostalgia

On January 15th, 2013, my sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated,  celebrated it’s 105th anniversary.  Two days prior to that, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated celebrated their Centennial anniversary.

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and pretty much every social media out there, practically imploded at the constant stream of updates, pictures, tweets, and collages that kept spooling in over the course of those two days.  And with good reason, too.  The women who belong to these respective organizations, along with countless other women who make up the membership of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated and Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Incorporated, have a deep personal relationship with one another and the purpose of their organizations.

Scholarship. Service. Sisterhood.

It doesn’t stop once you graduate from college, either. Graduate chapters abound, enabling these Black Greeks to continue in service, scholarship and sisterhood as they navigate life after college.  Not only does graduate membership help honor ones commitment to an organization, but it is a safe haven as well.  Whenever I have relocated from one city to another, I know that if I find a graduate chapter of AKA, I will be welcomed without hesitation.

If anyone has watched Spike Lee’s iconic movie, “School Daze” or caught any of the earliest episodes of the Cosby show spin-off “A Different World”, you might have a general, albeit hyperbolized, idea of Black Greek Life on campus.  Historically speaking, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated was the first sorority established for Black women on the campus of Howard University in 1908.  Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated and Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Incorporated were founded in 1913, 1920, and 1922 respectively.  I’m not going to get into the who’s, why’s, and what for’s that cause the formation of several different sororities, but suffice it to say, as a result, certain stereotypes have emerged.

Certainly, those of us Sister Greeks can poke fun at ourselves and at one another, especially when it’s done in a light hearted way.  There are other times, when ladies can take themselves a bit too seriously, and feelings get hurt.  I’m firmly a member of the first camp, and so are the women with whom I surround myself.  That fact was never made more clear than on January 13th and January 15th of this year.

This is a picture of me and the group of ladies I rolled with during college.  Dara and Cheri were my freshman and sophomore roommates, respectively.  I met Courtney and Leasa when we were 13 and at camp together. Roberta and Mia I met as a freshman and we went on to remain friends well into adulthood.

R to L: Leasa, Cheri, Dara, Hilary, Courtney, Roberta and Mia

I look at this picture and realize this was one of the last times we all were together before we became members of our respective sororities.  Right to left, it breaks down like this — AKA, DST, AKA, AKA, DST, DST, and down in front, DST.  And please, if you have some comment about who chose what based on their skin color, or how easy it is to pick me out of the crowd, let me be the first to tell you:

1. I know.
2. This picture is close to 20 years old; there aren’t any more observations to make about those facts. 
3. It’s already been mentioned
4. Keep that shiggity to yourself.

Despite all of the stereotypes and perceived animosity or throwing of shade and hateration that surrounds the two organizations, I look at this picture and think, “Not in this little pocket.” Sure, over the years, we have grown apart through distance, work, relationships.  But we keep up with one another, renewing friendships and establishing others.  This pictures makes me happy and a little sad.  Happy because those smiles are so genuine. We were having a great night. We were young and blissfully unaware that there things much harder than mid-terms and summer internships coming down the pike.  Ignorance is bliss, right?

In any event, after talking about friendships and the people who belong in your life will come and stay, seeing this picture was a visual representation of that idea.  As I said, DST celebrated their Founder’s Day on January 13th and as it was their centennial year, the volume of messages and photos was immense and not unexpected.

I sent personal messages to a few of my sister greeks with whom I am particularly close, but as you know, I’m not given to status updates.  I let other people update their statuses with well wishes and shout outs to specific folks.  I’m not above co-siging on things like that, so I did.  I “liked” my fair share of photos from their Centennial event as well as updates.  SN: “like” sometimes isn’t enough to really convey how I feel about a picture or an update.   I need a +1, or a “me too”, or a love button or something that conveys a “what he/she said”.

And sure, there were plenty of the joke type of updates, particularly the riff on the Kanye West/Taylor Swift speech.

(boy, everything becomes a meme)
But overall, there was a lot of Black Greek love going on.  Even one of my line sisters got in the act.

Here it goes! (Uh-hum) Congratulations to the lovely ladies of Delta Sigma Theta for 100 years of service. I am truly honored to call many of these women some of “bestest” (better than best) friends. Here’s to another 100 years of opportunity to ruin every DST picture I can. Remember at the top of every pyramid is my pinkie :). Pinkies Up…Love you ladies! — 

That’s the type of relationship we have with one another.  Exactly.

Two days later, the AKAs celebrated their Founder’s Day and my inbox was flooded with well-wishes from my sorority sisters, near and far.  As I was scrolling through them FB alerted me that I got tagged in a post.  It read:

although you are not my sorority sisters, you are still my greek sisters – happy founders day to my aka loveliesTiffany D., Dara D., Hilary D., LaVonne C., Margo S., Angel S., Candi A., Nicole G., Melissa D., Karen S.

Touching, right? I immediately thought of the photo above and just how far we’ve come as sister, women, and friends.  Despite the colors we wear or the letters on our chests, we’re still the same group of girls that came to the campus of William and Mary in the fall of 1996, graduated in the spring of 2000 and had all manner of adventures in between.

We’re coming up on our 15 year college reunion, and I would love to recreate this photo, maybe even expand upon it to include those young ladies we’ve brought up behind us.  Because like I said before, it doesn’t end with graduation.  It’s really only the beginning, and what a run we’ve had so far. 

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IN: ON: January 21, 2013 TAGS: , , BY: Hilary
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recipes

Recipe Friday

The weather has been downright awful lately.  I definitely haven’t been wanting to get out of bed, and yet, I must.  I get the troops moving, under much duress and with much protestations.  By the time everyone is dressed, fed, brushed and buffed, I’ve got the car already warming and the umbrellas ready to go.

It’s little consolation, though.  The cold temps coupled with the constant precipitation has made my mood nice and soggy.  I’m up to three cups of coffee a day to shake off the chill, but really, I need to battle these winter doldrums and wintry mix with lots of blankets, thick socks, and soup.  I can’t believe want some soup!  But there it is.

Last night, as the girls danced around the house in a “Lord of the Flies” type snow day dance, I dished up bowls of comfort for me and my parents.  I’ve been wanting to try my hand at this tortilla soup ever since we had it at Vivo’s godmother’s house a few weeks ago.  That recipe was a crockspot recipe from Cooks Illustrated.  This one is a Pioneer Woman cum Pinterest special.  I’m sure you could do it in the crockpot; I did it on the stovetop while singing silly songs to a very angry, exer-saucer bound Vivi.  She was eventually placated with some mashed up avocado and a silicon spatula to gum on as I shredded chicken and chopped cilantro.

As it turns out, today is a snow day.  Did you see the “Thunder Snow” last night? That was awesome.

I guess the inside out, backwards pajamas and the ice cubes in the toilet, as well as the fervent prayers, snow dances, and so forth really worked.  School is the closed and the girls are going nuts.  And wouldn’t you know it, the one day they don’t have to get up, they’re both up, dressed, and raring to go before the sun comes up.  I kid you not; Mo came downstairs at 6:40am, like “Zippity-doo-dah! Zippity-ay! My, oh, my, what a wonderful day!” Yesterday,  I couldn’t get her out of bed with a crow bar.

Anyway, after a decent breakfast and a little FaceTime with Uncle Christopher, I got them dressed in their snow gear and sent them outside.  Last time it snowed, they went out looking like little hobos — three pairs of tights and trash bag leggings underneath jeans.  I had to rectify that, so I caught the end of season sale and got them outfitted with jackets, gloves, and grow-with-me snow pants.  This may be the only and smallest snowfall of the year, but we were prepared!

Victory is mine!

So, after a brief romp in the snow (20 minutes, which is actually 19 minutes longer than last time), the girls were back in the house.  I have no idea what’s on tap for the rest of the day, but if my piles upon piles of paper on the dining room table are any indication, there will be some TV time for sure.  I do know, however, what we’re having for dinner!

Happy Friday, y’all!

Chicken Tortilla Soup courtesy of The Pioneer Woman

(image)

Ingredients

  • 2 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
  • 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
  • 1-1/2 teaspoon Cumin
  • 1 teaspoon Chili Powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon Salt
  • 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
  • 1 cup Diced Onion
  • 1/4 cup Diced Green Bell Pepper
  • 1/4 cup Red Bell Pepper
  • 3 cloves Garlic, Minced
  • 1 can (10 Oz. Can) Rotel Tomatoes And Green Chilies
  • 32 ounces, fluid Low Sodium Chicken Stock
  • 3 Tablespoons Tomato Paste
  • 4 cups Hot Water
  • 2 cans (15 Oz. Can) Black Beans, Drained
  • 3 Tablespoons Cornmeal Or Masa
  • 5 whole Corn Tortillas, Cut Into Uniform Strips Around 2 To 3 Inches
  • _____
  • FOR THE GARNISHES:
  • Sour Cream
  • Diced Avocado
  • Diced Red Onion
  • Salsa Or Pico De Gallo
  • Grated Monterey Jack Cheese
  • Cilantro

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix cumin, chili pepper, garlic powder, and salt. Drizzle 1 tablespoon olive oil on chicken breasts, then sprinkle a small amount of spice mix on both sides. Set aside the rest of the spice mix.
Place chicken breasts on a baking sheet. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until chicken is done. Use two forks to shred chicken. Set aside.
Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a pot over medium high heat. Add onions, red pepper, green pepper, and minced garlic. Stir and begin cooking, then add the rest of the spice mix. Stir to combine, then add shredded chicken and stir.
Pour in Rotel, chicken stock, tomato paste, water, and black beans. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Simmer for 45 minutes, uncovered.
Mix cornmeal with a small amount of water. Pour into the soup, then simmer for an additional 30 minutes. Check seasonings, adding more if needed—add more chili powder if it needs more spice, and be sure not to undersalt. Turn off heat and allow to sit for 15 to 20 minutes before serving. Five minutes before serving, gently stir in tortilla strips.
Ladle into bowls, then top with sour cream, diced red onion, diced avocado, pico de gallo, and grated cheese, if you have it! (The garnishes really make the soup delicious.)
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IN: recipes ON: January 18, 2013 TAGS: , , , , , , BY: Hilary
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If You Give a Mom a Moment. . .

Originally, I wrote this post in May of 2010.  My day thus far has mirrored these words more than a little bit.
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If you give a mom a moment, she’ll probably take a deep breath before picking up her “to-do” list.

Taking that deep breath will make her wrinkle her nose at the stink wafting out of the diaper pail.

Once she’s taken out the bag of dirty diapers, she’ll probably collect all of the trashes from the rest of the bathrooms.

In the master bathroom, she’ll notice this morning’s towels laying in a pile on the floor.  She’ll replace the old towels with clean ones and decided to run the dirties through the laundry.

Not wanting to run half a load, she’ll strip the beds and empty the hampers.

Once in the laundry room, she’ll see that she is low on detergent, so she’ll head to the kitchen to grab the magnetic pad off of the fridge to make a grocery list.

She’ll write down detergent, open the fridge an check to see what else she needs to pick up.

With her head in the fridge, she’ll spy the chicken breasts she took out the night before to defrost for dinner.

Thinking of dinner makes her hungry and she’ll realize that the breakfast table hasn’t been cleared.

She’ll clear the table, crumb the table, and wipe down the table.

All of that cleaning has given her an appetite and she realizes that she hasn’t had breakfast.

She’ll brew a pot of coffee and reach for her favorite mug, but the mug isn’t there.

She’ll open the dishwasher to find it wedged between a milky sippy cup and peanut-butter smeared Hello Kitty plate.

Once she has the dishwasher off and running, she’ll de-crumb the kitchen counters and sweep the kitchen floor.

Sweeping the kitchen floor will remind her of Cinderella, which will make her think of the Princess themed birthday party the kids will be attending this week-end.

Thinking of the birthday party, she’ll head to the hall closet where she keeps emergency party gifts.

On her way to the closet, she’ll wind her way through two coats, four pairs of mis-matched shoes, a doll-carriage, a doll missing its head, several books overdue at the library, and a Netflix DVD.

She’ll reseal the DVD in the envelope, slide the library books onto the mail table by the door, strap the headless baby into the carriage, place the shoes at the foot of the stairs to be taken up on her next pass,

Looking at the stairs reminds her of the stair climber at the gym, and the fact that she still has on her workout clothes from earlier in the day (the fact that she has yet to go to the gym today is not lost on her).

After hanging the coats in the closet, she feels around for the party gift and gives herself a pat on the back for her proper prior planning.

A pat on the back makes her think how nice a massage would be, so she decides to add that to her “to-do” list.

And chances are, before she reaches for that “to-do” list, she’s going to take a deep breath, if only for just a moment.

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IN: ON: January 16, 2013 TAGS: , , , BY: Hilary
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(The Return of) Monday’s Message

I’m a real cynic when I hear people talking about the Universe and “When you put stuff out into the Universe, things happen!” or “Such-and-such happened to you because the Universe was sending you a message (see ankle-gate 2012).” To which I reply,  **koff,koff*bull-isht*koff,koff*.

Sometimes, though, things literally appear right before my eyes.  Then I’m forced to admit, maybe I need to pick up what’s being put down (see ankle-gate 2012).

The other day, I was sitting in the carpool pick up line and clicked onto Tumblr. The first thing in my newsfeed was this quote.  
(image)


Those are some powerful words.  Immediately, I reblogged it on tumblr. Then I emailed it to myself and put it up on insta.gram (curly_girlie78).

See, when it comes to me and friendships, I feel like this is the story of my life.  I suck at making friends.  Contrary to popular belief, I’m pretty shy.  Shyness can be misconstrued as snottiness or uppityness.  When that is the case, making friends is pretty difficult.  Once people get to know me, they inevitably say, “You know, when we first met, I thought you were SO stuck-up!” I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been told that.  I’m neither of those; I just don’t like putting myself out there.  I  still feel like the braces wearing, coke-bottle glasses sporting, Superman “S” curl hair-do having tween-ager who’s the first one to fall asleep at the sleepover.  You know, I’ve got that I’m a kid at the grown-ups table thing going on.  

Whatever the case is, as I’ve matured, I’ve tried to approach things differently.  I was talking with a friend shortly after we moved back to RIC.  She had said that it must be nice coming back to a place where I already had a network of friends.  In truth, coming back really crystallized the old adage, “You can’t go home again.”

After a five year absence from the RVA scene, things had changed.  We don’t live in a vacuum and you can’t preserve relationships in amber.  The group of W&M grads that made RVA our home in the early 2000s had morphed from young, newlyweds into no/one/two or three+ child families.  Some couples had divorced. Some had moved away.  The dynamic that made me pine for relationships lost while we made a life in Norfolk was no more.  A new dynamic was in place, and it was like starting over.

Case in point (and I’m leaving off names here for a reason): There was a woman with whom I was really looking forward to reconnect with once we got back to town.  She and I had been new moms together, which is pretty significant.  We went through early childhood milestones — me with Mo and her with her little biscuit — together.   I leapfrogged over her by having not one, but two more kids.  My triumphant return to RVA lead me to believe we would just pick up where we left off;  my kids and her kid would be fast friends.  

It didn’t happen.  

Suffice it to say,  we got together once or twice and found that we just didn’t have anything in common any more.  That’s not unusual, seeing as how people grow and change as just a normal part of life.  I realized that I was extremely reluctant to tell her that I was expecting Vivi because I knew that it was going to be the last nail in the coffin.  Sadly, I was right.  I haven’t heard from her aside from the obligatory Christmas card. 

In hindsight, I wonder if maybe I dropped the ball by not inquiring as to what happened.  Maybe she was having fertility issues and felt that I was flaunting my overachieving ovaries or something. Maybe she was having some kind of life situation that just made it difficult for us to be friends.  I’ll never know for sure, but I’d like to think I would have taken that type of admission from her with some grace instead of just being dropped off on the side of the road.

Believe me, that smarts.  

Here’s another doozy of a story.  There’s a woman I met shortly after we moved back, about two summers ago.  She was a friend of a friend.  She’s the type of woman you see and think, “Wow, she is SO cool.”  She’s the Carrie Bradshaw, the Leslie Knope, the Liz Lemon or the Olivia Pope type that would so perfectly compliment you.  Not hanging out with her would be like asking Kim Kardashian for parenting advice. 

Anyway, she and I caught up at few other places where we knew people in common.  I suggested we grab coffee sometime, which we did.  We had our kids have playdates together.  We’d text and make plans to hang out, but then the plans were never executed.  I didn’t notice it at first, I mean who doesn’t have a crap ton of things to do all the time?  I’m bad about returning texts.  I break plans sometimes.  It happens.  If she and I couldn’t get together, then we’d plan for another time.  

Then we were planning for another time.  Which brings us to the last time. We planned to get together for coffee after doing our respective carpool runs one morning.  Just as I am pulling up to our coffee spot (oh, who am I kidding, you know it’s Starbucks), I get a text from her saying that she can’t make it because Verizon was coming to her house that afternoon. 

Afternoon.  It’s 8:20 on a Thursday morning, but then I got it.  I was being dismissed.  So, being at Starbucks, I got myself a latte.  Then I sat and stewed. 

Was it my breath? Was I a hanger-on? I kept thinking about what it was that I had done or not done.  But in the end, I stopped trying to lay blame and decided that it was her loss. Maybe, the universe was trying to tell me that she wasn’t the type of person I needed in my circle of trust. 

(image)

After I’d had that epiphany, I fired off a “too bad, so sad” kind of text, purposefully omitting any “Oh, let’s reschedule” type of talk. I sipped my latte and decided:

I’m not going to chase you. 

That afternoon in carpool, the above quote pretty much leapt out at me, and I knew I’d done the right thing.   Oh, and as a post-script to that story?  This broad had the nerve to call me up later on the in the week to ask me if I could take a few pictures of her child for some look-book she wanted to submit photos for. . .as a favor!  

Deep cleansing breath. . .deep cleansing breath . . . 

Anyway, I have decided that this above quote is going to be my touchstone going forward.  I can’t change people. I can only work on myself and I need to remember that. I will be me. I will do my own thing. I will work hard.  I will cultivate the relationships with the people who belong in my life, for they truly are the right people.  Our friendships will endure. 

Oh, and one last thing. . . I am going to make sure my girls read, repeat, and remember this, not just for their little girl-friends, but when the young men start to enter the picture.  I’m just sayin’!



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IN: ON: January 14, 2013 TAGS: , , , BY: Hilary
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recipes

Recipe Friday

First of all, there aren’t enough hours in the day.  I just had to share that newsflash with you.  I used to be really good at time management.  Something has changed in the last few weeks, though.  I just can’t get it together to get as much stuff done as I used to.  I can’t blame it on the holidays, either, because they are so far in the rearview mirror, I can barely remember what happened.

This morning, I was up and dressed for the gym at 5:45.  I figured I had a good 45 minutes to knock off a few to-do list items before the troops started to rouse.  I cleared my email inbox. I organized my receipts to run stuff back to the store. I started a grocery list. I planned my route of errand running for the day. I was about to take that beloved first sip of coffee when I peeked at the time.  6:34 am! Nuts on Toast! I’m late!

Up the stairs, rouse the kids, feed the baby, and grab the laundry.  Back downstairs, whip out the breakfast, start the laundry, grab the lunches.  And so it goes.  I pulled out all the ingredients for tonight’s dinner (Chicken Piccata, my old tried and true BFF of recipes). As the day progressed, however, the weather took a turn for the nasty, and I was beginning to wish I had something hot and savory in the crock pot.

See, I’m not really soup person.  No, really.  When I go out to eat, I never order soup for an appetizer or soup/salad for a lunch.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll stick my spoon all up in your bowl to make sure it’s good enough for you to eat.  I just don’t want a cup of my own.

A few weeks ago, the hubs and I went out to dinner with some friends.  On the menu as special was a Pumpkin Sunflower Seed Bisque with Truffle oil.  There may have been some shaved bacon on top (or maybe that’s just wishful thinking), but even then, I didn’t order it.  The hubs did and he was doing all kinds of parries and thrusts with his spoon to keep me from double dipping.  It was absolutely delicious.   Of course, the next time I go to that restaurant, it’ll probably be off the menu.

Soup, to me, is not very filling.  I like to belly up to the trough and tie one on.  Soup isn’t going to get it done.  Stews or chilis? They’re heartier and more apt to stand alone, but even then, I’m still not ordering it if I’m out on the town.

With winter settling squarely around our shoulders, it feel like soup and stew season.  I haven’t made any chili yet, though I have been giving this white bean and andouille sausage soup a fit.  It freezes well, too, so just when I think I’ve got nothing — BANG!– soup’s on!  I’m trying to branch out, though.  I tried my hand at a homemade split pea soup (I don’t think I soaked the peas long enough), a homemade chicken noodle soup (which went over well with the hubs and received a resounding “meh” from the girls), and a wonton soup, which I really like.

Aside from the split pea and lentil, I’m really a broth based soup kind of girl.  I’ll see a recipe for something decadent like Creamy Potato and Bacon Soup or Chicken and Corn Chowder.  My mouth starts watering, my stomach calls for all hands on deck, and then I see the ingredients.  If it’s got milk, sour cream, heavy cream or pretty much anything dairy related, I’m out.  Oh sure, I’ll make it for you, but I’m not going to eat it.  I’ve got a thing about hot milk products (I just threw up in my mouth a little just typing those three words).  Hot milk is just blerg *shudder*.  Can’t do it.

So, back to the drawing board.  Last weekend, Vivi’s godparents invited us over for lunch.  They had two crockpots going with two different soups.  One chicken noodle for the girls, one spicy tortilla for the grown-ups.  I’d never had Tortilla Soup before, and let me tell you, I have been missing out.

This soup was amazing.  Tortillas, cilantro, chicken, avocado — it was a flavor profile that I love in a soup! Who knew? Yes, I skipped the cheese and the sour cream (hot dairy!), but I don’t think I lost anything.  I came close to embarrassing myself by not only having seconds, but eyeballing the pot for possible thirds.

I restrained myself.

Vivi’s godmother showed me her recipe, as well as a few books that I wasn’t familiar with, like this one.

(image)

It’s in the Amazon shopping cart as we speak.

Anyway, after that outstanding lunch, I have been having a craving for Mexican food.  Chipotle always comes through in a pinch, but given the drop in temps, soup or stew was what I was looking for.  While I was looking for an image for tortilla soup, I came across the Pioneer Woman’s recipe.  It’s straightforward and her written delivery on how she prepared it sounds much like my own inner monologue.  Double win!

Enjoy your tortilla soup (with or without your hot dairy) and happy Friday, y’all!

(image)

Chicken Tortilla Soup from  The Pioneer Woman via Tasty Kitchen

Prep Time 
Cook Time 		 Servings 8 Difficulty Easy

Ingredients

  • 2 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
  • 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
  • 1-½ teaspoon Cumin
  • 1 teaspoon Chili Powder
  • ½ teaspoons Garlic Powder
  • ½ teaspoons Salt
  • 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
  • 1 cup Diced Onion
  • ¼ cups Diced Green Bell Pepper
  • ¼ cups Red Bell Pepper
  • 3 cloves Garlic, Minced
  • 1 can (10 Oz. Can) Rotel Tomatoes And Green Chilies
  • 32 ounces, fluid Low Sodium Chicken Stock
  • 3 Tablespoons Tomato Paste
  • 4 cups Hot Water
  • 2 cans (15 Oz. Can) Black Beans, Drained
  • 3 Tablespoons Cornmeal Or Masa
  • 5 whole Corn Tortillas, Cut Into Uniform Strips Around 2 To 3 Inches
  • _____
  • FOR THE GARNISHES:
  • Sour Cream
  • Diced Avocado
  • Diced Red Onion
  • Salsa Or Pico De Gallo
  • Grated Monterey Jack Cheese
  • Cilantro

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix cumin, chili pepper, garlic powder, and salt. Drizzle 1 tablespoon olive oil on chicken breasts, then sprinkle a small amount of spice mix on both sides. Set aside the rest of the spice mix.
Place chicken breasts on a baking sheet. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until chicken is done. Use two forks to shred chicken. Set aside.
Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a pot over medium high heat. Add onions, red pepper, green pepper, and minced garlic. Stir and begin cooking, then add the rest of the spice mix. Stir to combine, then add shredded chicken and stir.
Pour in Rotel, chicken stock, tomato paste, water, and black beans. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Simmer for 45 minutes, uncovered.
Mix cornmeal with a small amount of water. Pour into the soup, then simmer for an additional 30 minutes. Check seasonings, adding more if needed—add more chili powder if it needs more spice, and be sure not to undersalt. Turn off heat and allow to sit for 15 to 20 minutes before serving. Five minutes before serving, gently stir in tortilla strips.
Ladle into bowls, then top with sour cream, diced red onion, diced avocado, pico de gallo, and grated cheese, if you have it! (The garnishes really make the soup delicious.)
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IN: recipes ON: January 11, 2013 TAGS: , , , , , , BY: Hilary
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#fashionfail

I’ve been trying to improve my wardrobe from sweatpants chic to a more young, urban mother flair.  It’s been a journey considering the number of sizes I’ve cycled through with each pregnancy.  No counting the work-out wardrobe I needed to get back into shape.  My closet is overflowing and yet, I constantly maintain that I have nothing to wear.

I have steadily torn out pages from Glamour, Real Simple, People and the like whenever headlines like How to dress 10 Lbs. Slimmer! Your 10 Essential Wardrobe Must-Haves! Winter Chic for Under $50! Rachel Zoe Decodes Your Closet!


You can imagine the pile of papers I’ve got to work with.  I’ll admit it, I’m a follower of trends. I’ve got a Pinterest board called “Dress Me Up” and one called “Saw it. Bought it.”, which overlap quite a bit.  Clothes, shoes, outfits that I’d like to wear (or maybe it’s the body shape I’d rather have) make it to these boards.  On a recent review, there’s quite a bit of stripes going on, but as the old adage goes. . .
(true story)
I see stuff that I like either in magazines or on other people.  Rather than thinking about whether or not a) I need it, b) really and truly like it or c) whether or not it’s a good match for me, I end up with stuff that I don’t really wear.   Trying to put an end to that, I’ve decided to dress or rather,  make outfits selections more purposefully rather than with a “This is clean” mentality.  And while I’m not a fan of shopping (contrary to what my back account says), I’m a sucker for things that I see in my price range and that I think will disappear if I don’t grab them.  Case in point, this Peter Pan Collar from J.Crew.  
(image)
I looked at it online after viewing it in one of my mags back in August.  The word on the street was that Peter Pan collars were making a comeback for the fall.  This particular shirt was already back ordered until November.  In my pea brain that meant Panic at the Disco! Everyone is buying this shirt! I must have it, too! 
I must have been a lemming in my past life. 
Now, I know that I am shaped like a 34 year old Black woman, not like the model pictured above.  BUT, I figured that the shirt would be flattering.  I mean, I’ve got a cute shape every now and again.  I’ve got jeans like the model has on.  I could make this work.  So, I forked over my debit card and waited for November.  The shirt came as promised I planned to wear it for Thanksgiving dinner.  I gave myself a blow out, put on a little stick-lip (that’s lipstick to the rest of y’all) and away I went.
(you can’t really see it that well, but I’m in it)
Anyway, I liked how it looked. It was comfy and every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror, I found myself smiling.  Of course, the vanity in the bathroom was high enough to cover the lower half of the shirt and my body, so I never got a really good look at what was going on. Ignorance is bliss, right? 
Fast forward to a few Sundays ago.  Trying to get ready for church, trying to wear something I haven’t worn in a while (remind me to tell you about the clothing rotation project), and my hand stopped on the shirt.  I figured I could wear it with a black pencil skirt, black tights and black pumps.  Yeah, it wasn’t doing me any favors.  So, I tried the shirt with a herringbone print skirt, black tights, and pumps.  Nope. Negative.  Then I held up a pair of oxblood pants to my waist, turned to the hubs and asked, “Does this go?” and he gave me a a very confident thumbs up. 
I slipped on the pants with a pair of nude heels, turned to the hubs, who then said, “Actually. . .that really doesn’t work.”
I knew it!  And here I am with this shirt that only looks good from the waist up.  What am I supposed to  do with that? Walk around with a redact bar across my waist? Back to the drawing board.  SN: as for church that day, I settled on the oxblood pants, a cream colored long sleeve shirt with a boatneck, and a grey cocoon shrug.  Nice. 
So, I’m determined not to give in to this shirt.  I’m going to do one of three things. 
1. Take the shirt to J.Crew and say, “Help me with this.”
2. Fold it up and save it for one of the girls to grow into (hello, grow with me project for Vivi!).
3. Keep trying clothes in the closet to see if I can figure something out. 
Today, I went with option three.  I flipped through my other pages of fashion inspiration and wouldn’t you know it? I had another page featuring a Peter Pan collared shirt, this time worn by a well known actress.  
(image)
I have all of those pieces she’s wearing.  I put on the skinny jeans, some tall brown boots with a brown belt. I grabbed my black cardigan per  Victoria Beckham’s Wardobe Essentials as reported by Glamour magazine.  She must have gotten that from my good friend and constant cardi wearer, Karen Sue.  As for the scarf, I skipped it.
Clearly by the look on my face in the first picture, I’m not feeling this.  So, I add the cardigan.  Better, but still not making me happy.  Maybe I need the scarf after all.
(grrr! this shirt!)

What’s a girl to do?  Take it to social media of course. I fired up my insta.gram, pic-stitched the pics and turned it over to the masses.

Here’s a sample of the feedback I received from my pals (in no particular order):
from lifeofkeesh: Wear this shirt with a bright colored blazer (maybe a jewel tone) and add a skater skirt. You’ll be new old school.
from sjfaraway: I’m sorry, were you saying something? I was distracted by those awesome boots.
from annteighm: If the shirt were red, I’d liken you to Aileen Quinn. . . “The-e-e-e-e sun’ll come out, TOmorrow! Betcha bottom dollar that too-more-owww. . .they’ll be sun- n- n-n ! For real, though, I think it looks good.
from refeoxyfemme: The cardigan helps.  I’m wondering if some pops of color would too.  Is the collar connected?
from besswa: I love it!
from franklinfitzgerald: Drop the cardigan. You can go with a nice skirt and run some dressier boots to set it off.  Possibly a wide high waisted belt to set off the dressy boots.
from kmcam34: I like the shirt. I was going to ask you where you got it.  I think some different shoes with the cardigan or without. 
from jessgarbi: I love it! Try with round flat shoes.
from itsonlyanatural: I like it.
from kisforkatrina: I love Peter Pan collars.
Love, love, love it!  I think it can be saved.  Stay tuned. . .

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IN: ON: January 9, 2013 TAGS: , , , , BY: Hilary
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Status Update

*this is a transcription of a blog post idea that I had while driving. i decided to use my voice memo feature on my phone and just spew it out. side note: i canNOT believe that’s what my voice sounds like!*

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. I should have just stared dictating a long time ago. So for the blog, I was thinking about doing a post called status update.  I plan to get back to writing my usual, thought provoking/self deprecating/recipe laden/craft-tastic/day-in-the-life type of posts for sure, but in the interim, I thought it would be funny to just write out what my status updates have been and would be.

See the thing is, I Don’t really do status updates on Facebook.  Have you see that funny e-card online about Facebook status updates?

(image)

Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel about it. The blog I did before about am i taking a picture to put it on Facebook or am i taking a picture to really enjoy the moment, Facebook status updates kind of remind me of that.  And I’m only talking about me, Hilary with One L, putting up status updates.  I mean, by all means, keep yours coming.  That’s why I get on Facebook in the first place; to see what’s going on with you!

I personally think I put things up that are relevant or funny or you know, nothing that’s too personal that I wouldn’t want to follow up about.  I wouldn’t post things about my parents health or the death of a family member or solicit prayers for something.  I don’t like that kind of thing.  It’s not in my personality to do that face-to-face, so it’s definitely not going to happen in social media. 
I think status updates, at least for me, should be funny. I’m not a comedian — I leave that to the professionals like Na’im Lynn and Kevin Hart, but I think I’m kind of witty.   So that status update about being at the gym the other day, I wrote, “@ the gym for my first workout in 4 months. 1st song on shuffle– “Time got the Percolator/ Eurythmics mash-up. Oh snap! It’s about to get real up in here! Let’s go!”  There’s something to be said about the endorphins released during a work out and your mood.  I was feeling like I could have party marched all around that gym, taken Zumba, done a few laps in the pool and picked up a game of three on three.  I’m leaving the gym now, coming off of the same feeling and I feel really good. 
I’m thinking about that status update. . .I keep thinking about fracking, for some reason. That word is in my head. And because I can’t get it out of my head, it’s the kind of thing worthy of a status update. And Homeland. I’m so obsessed with Homeland right now. What I would have done is put “Abu Nazir!” as my status update, or Homeland S2 Ep6. ABU NAZIR! Mind is blown!” as my status update.
So maybe instead of doing a post about or actually breathing into, not breathing into. . .what am I talking about? 
Here it is. Instead of taking the route of a former FB friend who cataloged every inhalation, exhalation, eye blink and nose wipe, I’d rather do a blog post of non-sequitors, like a stream of consciousness, which would have been status updates if I took the time to put them on Facebook.
Does that even make any sense whatsoever?
Yeah.
I really need to get back to writing, but as usually, I’ve got a crap ton of things to do. I really want to write. I’ve got a bunch of ideas floating in the pipeline and not enough time to sit down and just get it on paper. I’m doing a mental headslap right now for not thinking to use this voice memo app to record my ideas before now.  This way, I can just transcribe it later.
Don’t you hate that? Like when you think of something and don’t have a chance to get it down.  The next thing you know, you’re grasping at that memory as is dissipates before your eyes like Marty McFly at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance.  Awww, Marty. . .I love that movie. 
But, back to the status updates. I’m going to give it a whirl and see what I can come up with.  I read in Real Simple magazine a while back about how this author used to set these really high goals for herself and would get so frustrated when she got nothing done.  After a while, she decided that she would just carve out 15 minutes to write. 15 minutes, that was it.  Over time, this method worked for her and as result, she has since written and published 10 novels.  And it all started with 15 minutes.  The journey of 1000 steps, right?  
I can carve out fifteen minutes.  I can come up with 15 status updates that might be the opening line to the next American classic.  
01/07/13 Woulda Been Status Updates 
—  Ooh! Listening to Mariah Carey’s Vision of Love on the radio and instantly transported back to 1991.
—  Just got an emil from Mo’s Brownie leader requesting a parental consent form to sell cookies.  Isn’t that kind of implied by the fact that I signed her up.  Brownies/Girl Scouts = Cookies.   
—  Having buyer’s remorse about this shirt I bought from J.Crew.   I wish I had really looked at myself in it before I took the tags off.  I look like a square with a peter pan collar. #fashionfail
—  Homeland is off the chain! 
—  Just met the sweetest girl at Loft. We talked natural hair care for 30 minutes and she gave me some new tips and tricks to try out.  I know I’m not pioneer of the natural movement,  but things have surely changed  since I did my first big chop.
—  Mmmm. . .Starbucks. . . must. . .resist. . .temptation . . .
—  I really need a better camera on my phone. Or maybe I just need a better phone.  Or maybe the camera phone and the mirror need to come to an agreement about how I really look.
—  Meatless Monday means I have to put on my thinking cap for dinner.  I’m so hungry and all I want is a nice, big prime rib.
—  Oooh, gift card I didn’t know was in my wallet.
*author’s note:
I’ll admit it. This is not my best work, but I felt like if I didn’t get something down, my holiday hiatus was going to extend indefinitely!
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IN: ON: January 8, 2013 TAGS: , BY: Hilary
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