I think I’m getting dumber.  Not that I was ever a font of pertinent information, but there was a time when I could readily call upon facts and figures to help me navigate conversations and several round of Jeopardy. Nowadays, I’m lucky if I can complete a thought that isn’t peppered with “Uh. . .what’s the word? Oh wait. . .I had something for this!”

The hours and minutes of my day are consumed like Ms. Pac-Man gobbling up pellets.  When I do find a snatch of time here and there, I like to do something that requires the minimum amount of brain power.  I’ll read a few random articles on BuzzFeed. I’ll click on a few pages of Funsubstance or random links my brother sends me that show humanity at it’s most ridiculous.  Exhibit A: The Smalls Family, which is a video where a Caucasian family communicates only using lyrics from the Notorious B.I.G. And like a dummy, I watched it.  Those are 3 minutes and 38 seconds I will never see again.  By allowing this video prime real estate in my consciousness, I’ve undoubtedly unseated something crucially important, something that I’ll need when the kids bring home the next round of math homework.  Can you believe we’re on geometry already? Rays, lines, line segments!  See! I knew it! I’m going to have to look this -ish up!

There are times when I work on some mental fitness, though. I started using Lumosity, which is an app that provides daily brain games to help you stay sharp.  I bought an algebra workbook from a used bookstore and began giving myself little quizzes on X+Y type problems.  At the very least, I would be well prepared when the girls started that realm of arithmetic.  I was determined to read the headlines of all sections of the paper and pick at least one artcile per section to read.  In the end, all of these things felt like work and were quickly discarded.

I found myself thumbing through my planner and came across a hastily scrawled list I had made — a bucket list.   One of the items read “to be fluent in French”.  I am a francophile through and through and realized, maybe this was the way I could stretch those synapses.  See,  I started taking French lessons when I was in the third grade. When I graduated from high school, it was with solid marks in AP French.  Foolish girl that I was, I figured, I’d put my time in with foreign languages, so I opted out of French class in college.  What could have been a collegiate cake-walk was replaced with things like Geology 101, Cultural Anthropology and African History from 1800 to the present (a class where I basically pumped in information long enough to regurgitate it back into a blue book for the midterm and final).

But, back to French.  I’ve toyed with getting Rosetta Stone program, but can never pull the trigger with that.  I’ve thought about enrolling in some classes at the university down the street, but like I said, my free time comes in snatches and I have yet to find an academic program — not even an online one — that allows you to work in non-consecutive snippets of 12-17 minutes.  I thought about hiring a tutor, but as it turned out, the girls were the ones who received the instruction.  That actually worked out well, though, because their introductory lessons served as a great review for me.  I could sprinkle fruits, vegetables, colors and numbers into our daily dialogue without it seeming like work for any of us.

The tutors lasted for a while, until we relocated several years ago.  The pursuit of bi-lingualism remained sidelined as I picked up kettle-bells, the girls tried lacrosse, soccer, swimming and gymnastics.  Ultimately, life got in the way. I unearthed some French language books, Googled Berlitz classes and bought some sing-a-long French CDs for the car in several failed attempts to kick my own butt into gear.  Several false starts before I stumbled upon this website called Duolingo.  I can’t even remember how I learned about it — must have read it in a magazine or something — but basically, it’s an online program that allows you to work in non-consecutive snippets of time.  Whenever you can, wherever you can, just practice.  You start with the basics and work your way up.  You strengthen certain vocabulary sets.  You type, you repeat, you translaste from English to French or French to English.  You can use a timer or go at your own pace.  It’s exactly what I needed.  I can see my progress because before, when I would speak French, I would always forget the word that would actually make the sentence make sense.  Ask me about colors, days of the week, time, animals, I’m your girl all day every day.  Ask me about anything else? It was the same “Uh. . .wait. . .what’s the word I’m looking for?”Or more like “Uh, un moment, s’il vous plaît. J’ai oublié ce que je veux dire.” 

In any event, I’m progressing nicely and have found a great motivator in The Hubs. He signed up to brush up on his Spanish.  Now we battle it out to see who has the longest s practice streak.  He recently unlocked the flirting module and is walking around saying some pretty blush inducing Spanish phrases.  Not to be outdone, I motored through adverbs and conjunctions so that I could spit out some hokey Chez vous où chez moi? type of flirtations.  Some things translate verbatim, some things sound much more romantic or sexy in another language  and others (I wish I were cross-eyed so I could look at you twice) just sound ridiculous no matter the language.

I’m determined to keep practicing online, on my iPad, and hopefully with some other French speakers when the opportunities present themselves.  I’m going to push out all that useless information (Mimi and Niko and a shower rod, anything Kardashian related, and who won season 7 of DWTS — it was Brooke Burke Charvet. You’re welcome) and parler le français sans problem!

What about you? Are you multi-lingual? Would you like to be?