Originally, I had planned to introduce both Morgan and Coever to the mysteries of womanhood once they had lost their baby teeth and no longer wore shirts that snapped at the crotch. Sadly, when you have an audience for every-single-thing-that-you-do-24/7, some mysteries are solved sooner rather than later.

Morgan has been consistently accompanying me to the bathroom since she was an infant, so I shouldn’t be surprised to still have an audience lo these two years later. It’s the running commentary that makes these trips so surreal.

Morgan: Where are you, Mommy?

Me: I’m on the potty, Morgan

Morgan: (flinging open the door, sliding aross the tile and stopping right in front of me) Mommy goes pee-pee on the potty!!!

Me: Yes, Morgan. Can Mommy have some privacy?

Morgan: Privacy?

Me: Yes, Morgan. Privacy is when the door is closed.

Morgan: (closing the door, but still staying IN the bathroom) Privacy, Mommy! Privacy!!

Me: *sigh* Yes, Morgan

Morgan: What’s that?

Me: It’s a tampon.

Morgan: Tampon? See it?

Me: It’s for grown up ladies.

Morgan: Grown up ladies. Mommy’s tampon for grown up ladies. Mommy’s okay. Mommy goes pee-pee on the potty!!! (leaves the bathroom)

*sigh*

I thought that would be the end of the Sanitary Products 101 lecture, but seeing as how bathroom breaks are a multiple daily occurrence, especially when you are trying to get in your 8 glasses of water for Weight Watchers, I should have expected to be teaching Sanitary Products 201 (pads and panty liners).

Morgan is smart and she remembers everything. Later on in the evening, we were reading a book about colors. Each page provides items of a specific color. I have Morgan identify the color and the items on the page when we read this particular book. So on the page for pink, there are pink balloons, pink flowers, pink socks, a flamingo and so forth. I point to a pair of candy canes and Morgan says, “TAMPONS!!!”

I guess that I should be glad that she can recognize health and beauty products over candy, right?