You know how on Animal Planet or Discovery Channel, when they are doing a segment on life in the Serengeti, they often times show the pride of lions stalking an unsuspecting gazelle through the grasses? C’mon, you know what I’m talking about — the lions are on their bellies, crawling stealthily forward, the gazelle is munching grass, totally unawares. The music starts to crescendo as the lion surges towards the gazelle who is caught in the camera lens with a look like, “Oh, crap.” followed by “Run, Forrest, Run!” The pursuit ensues, through the brush, over streams and around the lone tree on the tundra until either the gazelle is caught or the lion(s), energy spent, sulk off as if to say, “I didn’t want that stringy ass gazelle anyway.”
I saw this very same scenario play out early this morning during the highly anticipated community children’s clothing consignment sale here in Norfolk. Of course, you are thinking, “Surely, you jest.” First of all, I’m dead serious, and secondly, don’t call me Shirley.
This consignment sale is oft talked about and highly anticipated. We’ve lived here almost two years and I have missed every time it’s been held. Not this time, I resolved. I had my cash ready, the promise from Craig to watch the kids, and I was out the door by 7:30 to get there early.
It was 40 degrees this morning, so I was toasty in my car, the first one in the lot as a matter of fact. Other people started coming and lo’ they got out of their cars to stand in line in front of the closed door. In 40 degree weather. Some with no coats!! Not to be outdone, I got out of my car, too. When the doors opened, it was like Moses had parted the Red Sea and the Israelites fled across the exposed ocean floor. People ran down the stairs into the room, freezing for just a split second to get the lay of the land. Linens and baby items to the left – toys, Halloween costumes to the right — clothes (a.k.a. the Mother lode) dead ahead! It was Chaos and Pandemonium dressed in Ann Taylor casual separates!
I knew that I wanted to get Morgan some dresses and maybe pick up a few things for Coever to get us over this weird weather spell that we’ve been having. So, I head for the 9-12 month girl rack and start to pick. Now, I’ve never been a good shopper at TJ Maxx or Marshalls. Havin go through every item on a rack isn’t fun for me. I don’t consider it the thrill of the hunt, but there I was, up to my elbows in children’s clothes, jockeying for position.
I saw this semi-cute dress covered in umbrellas that I thought would be nice for Coever, but then I thought better of it and put it down (remember this, it’s important). I then decided I’d spent enough time over in this section and I made my way to the 3T section. I worked my way down from one end of the rack to the other, trying to be courteous of my fellow shoppers at all times. I think there about a half dozen of us who brought our manners with us today. So I’m looking, I’m looking and hey! There’s that same umbrella dress in a 3T! How cute would Mo and Co be in matching dresses? And for $5 a piece?! But then I faced a dilemma. Do I go back for the smaller size and miss out on other possible goodies on the 3T rack or do I keep shopping and just focus my thoughts on willing that smaller size to remain on the 9-12 month rack? I went with the former and Morgan should be kissing my face for all the goods I racked up for her.
In the midst of the shopping, I ran into other moms I know, all leaden with bags and armfuls of clothes like suburban Sherpas. The fact that we could converse without making eye contact because we were too engrossed in finding clothes says quite a bit.
When I exhausted the clothes, I picked my way over the toys and books which were in a separte room. YOu would have thought they were giving away the toy du jour (Cabbage Patch kids in the ’80s, Beanie Babies in the ’90s, whatever the devil is popular these days). The room was crammed with board books, stuffed animals, play yards, an Atari (hello!), Little People playsets, rocking horse bouncers from wayyyyyy back in the day. Unbeliveable. I snagged a Bee Bop Band that I had been coveting on Morgan’s behalf since Thanksgiving and then extricated myself from the fray to re-evaluate my finds.
Hunched down in a small corner between the Halloween costumes and the pile of “sold” items, I felt like Gollum going through my bag. “Precious . . .my precious”, I know I muttered as I mentally patted myself on the back for snagging primo Gap dresses and Gymboree outfits at fraction prices. I ran into another friend and her mother, did a little comparison shopping and then decided to actually return the items I didn’t want to their proper places. That was my good deed of the day. Then, to go stand in line.
Holy mother of pearl. The line was RIDICULOUS!! I spent more time in line getting to the check out than in my entire shopping experience. Still, once some of the consignment volunteers went through the ranks suggesting we remove the hangers from out items in order to speed things up, the line did move much faster. All told, I easily got over $100 worth of merchandise, and some fodder for this blog, for a scant $37.50 — and I can’t wait for the next one.
Incidentally, there was another consignment sale this morning at one of the local elementary schools, but I begged off on that one. Like the lions, I was spent, and besides, I heard that one wasn’t nearly as good as this first one. Yeah, whatever helps you to sleep at night 🙂