Monday’s Message


This image and the message will come together in a bit. . .just bear with me.

So, a couple of days ago, Craig and I had to go to this black-tie event downtown.  The day was one of the books, let me tell you.  I got the girls off to school, took a class, came home to clean up, had a newborn photoshoot, came home, met my parents, went to read at Morgan’s school, got the girls from school, came home again, went on an audition with my parents and the girls, came home and got dressed to go back out for this shin-dig.  I was really doubting that I would be able to get myself together in a timely manner for this event.  Miracle of miracles, I had a clean dress, stocking without any runs, and some 5 minute shoes to go with.  I had recently purchased this awesome pearl necklace and bracelet set from my friend Tamy, a Stella and Dot super seller, and I have been wearing it with everything. It just goes with everything. The combo I whipped up for the black-tie event was no exception. 


I had my make-up right, I had the hair “did”, and I had the dress on with room to breathe (Hallelujah)!  I was looking good and felt like I needed to share all of this fashion forward goodness with the masses.  So Craig snapped a picture and I turned to FaceBook. I know, I know, but I like to think I don’t do this very often, so I can show off just a little bit.

Can I tell you, the response was AH-mazing?!  Oh my goodness, I got such great compliments. It was awesome! And yet, I had this overwhelming desire to reply to each one with “Thanks, but you know I don’t always look like this” or “Thanks, but believe me, I’ll be turning into a pumpkin at midnight.” 

What’s that all about? Why can’t I just take a compliment for what it is and move on? Several years ago, I posted about this very same thing.  I was making excuses as to why I should not receive compliments.  For example, a typical exchange back then went like this:

You: “Wow, the last time I saw you, you were out to here (miming a beach ball tummy) pregnant. You look fantastic! And it’s only been 3 months!”

Me: “Oh, thanks, but I worked out the whole pregnancy”

or

You: “What a sweet little girl you have. She is so polite!”

Me: “Yeah, but she was SO bad yesterday, I thought we were going to have to exorcise the demons!”

See what I mean? What’s up with that? Why can’t I just take it for what it is? Was it because I didn’t deserve kind words? Was it because the giver was so blatantly full of crap, how could they expect me to accept their foolishness? No and no.   I think I was too conscientious of someone else’s feelings that to just take it at face value was to be selfish, stuck-up or self-centered.  Bottomline: I didn’t want to make you feel bad because you were trying to make me feel good.


Oh, I just heard dozens of psychiatrists dusting off their couches. . .

A compliment is defined as an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration. It’s meant to be taken as such. There is no qualifier that says you must explain to yourself or anyone else why you deserve that praise or admiration. I don’t know if this is just unique to me or if it’s a woman thing, but I don’t think guys have this problem. I mean, have you ever seen an exchange like this?

Jack: Dude, great coverage on the defense during that last play (swats teammates’ butt in a strong, masculine way).

Joe: I know, right?! I’m on fire today! I’m the man! (pumps fist in the air and then punches teammate in the face with a strong right hook).

Okay, I grossly exaggerated that, but you get the point, right? Men just take the compliment. Actually, it seems like that take it and then they embellish it! Like telling you, “Yes, I agree with my greatness and let me point out some other things for you, too.”   

In any event, regarding the receipt of compliments, the plan is to be gracious and accepting, consider each compliment a bite-sized morsel of something decadent and totally satisfying (it always comes back to food for me), because that’s really what it is.  


The image above of the free compliments? Notice how the one highlighted item simply says, “Take one!”

Alright, I will!
IN: ON: October 17, 2011 BY: Hilary 3 COMMENTS
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