Hilary

Lists

You know I loves me a list.

I have had “BLOG” on the top of my latest batch of lists for the past few weeks. Immediately following that, I have had “Get Your Shit Together”. Seriously. There are so many projects that I want to tackle and I just keep getting sidetracked. I’m not even talking about the regular ol’ household, parenting, and so forth. I’m like one of those birds flying along, sees something shiny and is instantly like “Oooh, shiny!”

Here are a few ways that I’ve been wasting repurposing my time:

1. tumblr. Come follow me, though. It’s fun to look at pretty pictures.

2. Pinterest. Do I really need to explain? Of course, I have been on it in search of some easy, budget friendly summer activities for the girls. When I offer to turn on the sprinkler for them, I get a full body eye roll that would make Liz Lemon proud. Really? You’re kids. It’s summer. Sprinklers are fun. I don’t see why this math isn’t adding up.

3. OPB (Other People’s Blogs). I’m a blog stalker. I hardly ever leave comments, although people are super kind enough to leave them for me. I read posts, I look through photos and all that stuff, but I never have anything to add to the comments that hasn’t already been said. Of course, who doesn’t like to hear an additional, “You’re right!” or “Great post!” or other accolade. Note to self: leave comments on what you read, even if it’s just the written equivalent of a high five.

4. reading books on my new fangled iPad mini. I know, I know, I said that I would never, never, never cross to the darkside that is the e-reader, but I can’t help it! The Hubs gifted me with the mini for our anniversary last month and I started getting a few samples of books here and there. My first sample was “Divergent” and well, it’s been downhill from there.

5. physical therapy (again). The saga continues; I had tenolysis surgery on the 28th and spent a week recouperating in Chesapeake at my parents house. The up-side is that I was out of the boot in a week. I’m walking on my own, but things are stiff. I’ve got the gait of a suburban Frankenstein. Still, it’s way better progress than the first time around. Fitting PT in two to three times a day with the young ones underfoot is a challenge, but I gotta do it, man because. . .

6. Las Vegas! My sorority sisters and I are going on a much needed girls getaway to Vegas next month. Can I even tell you how excited I am about this? I’m pulling clothes from the closet, putting new clothes and bathing suits in various virtual shopping carts around the internet, bombarding my line sister with pictures of myself in various bathing suits to make sure I don’t look like the chaperone while we’re out there (and yes, I owe her a huge stack of gift cards to retailers of her choice for putting up with me with that). I’ve got a Las Vegas list of sorts going on, too.

There are always lists. I keep a notepad and pen in the bathroom with my make-up because inevitably, I think of something that will leave my head before I get downstairs to the kitchen to write it down. I “borrowed” a mini legal pad at my parents house to write things down as they came to me so that when we got back home, I could just get started. I’ve got another folded up piece of paper that I pulled from some random pile of stuff to be sorted so that I could remember what songs to add to my work-out playlist, what odds and ends I needed to pick up from the grocery store, who I had to call, who I had to email, and what activities to look up on Pinterest. Vicious circle, vicious, vicious circle.

And really, my ideal list would include taking pictures, writing stories, having a good long nap, being totally and thoroughly (and uninterruptedly) romanced by my husband, and that’s it. Well, I’m sure some bacon, wine, and chocolate would be involved in there, too, but you know, that goes without saying.

Bacon, wine, and chocolate. . .need to put that on my grocery list.

IN: ON: July 10, 2013 TAGS: photography, pinterest, summer, tumblr BY: Hilary

How-To: Two-Strand Twist Tutorial

So, I’ve been asked by quite a few people about how I care for my and the girls hair. There’s been quite a bit of trial and error, some research at the library for hair care books, scouring of the Internet, and YouTube. I’ve asked natural hair wearing strangers what products they use and how they styled their hair, which funny enough, has sent me back to the books, websites and YouTube.I finally got it together — my products, my curly haired victim subject, and my camera — and made my own tutorial. This is amateur video at its finest, no bells and whistles, no music running in the background or cool graphics. Movie making is best left to the professionals, I realize. My point was to show you “how-to” with the hair.

Two Strand Twist Tutorial courtesy of Hilary With One L

I hope this answers some questions about how I do things for myself and my my girls when it comes to hair care as well as answers some questions about products and styling. I’m really thankful for all the compliments that I receive about my hair and I’m glad to see such an increase in folks who are going natural. I know I’m not the first ever person to do a Big Chop or to go natural, but things have changed in the 15 years since I did. There’s more dialogue, more products, more information, more networks and more acceptance. Natural hair is moving away from being considered “non-traditional” to being simply another way to style ones hair. That’s pretty cool.

IN: ON: July 9, 2013 TAGS: hair BY: Hilary

Summer Colds

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Summer colds rank up there with broken air conditioning, a hole in the inflatable pool, and ice cream that melts too quickly to enjoy it. In other words, it really, really sucks.

Saturday and into Sunday, little V was running a high fever. She was listless, droopy, and clingy. Her skin was angry and hot to the touch. She had a runny nose, runny eyes and I was keeping my fingers crossed that it was just some teeth trying to break through and nothing else. After talking to the doctor on call, who assured me it just a virus that would pass by Monday, we rode out the rest of the -ick as best we could. Babies and wee ones can’t expectorate (that’s fancy talk for hock a loogie), so my job as a parent is to spray saline in those tiny nostrils to loosen the gunk so it’ll slide down her nasal passages and (I guess) be absorbed by her body. Saline spray + baby nostrils = wrangling cats.

We wrangled, V and I, as I lay an arm across her chest and tried to steady her head with my other hand. She wanted no parts of it, despite my soothing and pleading. Telling a one year old “Let me help you” and “This will make you feel better” is pointless. They see you coming at them with something other than food or comfort, they are out of there. Blessedly, I got her situated, and she knew that it was too her benefit because when she took her first unobstructed breath, it was like, “Ohhhhh, I see what you did there.” Of course, her short term memory is just that — short term, because it was the same struggle for the next dosage.

Here we are on Wednesday and I’ve got some kind of summer foolishness percolating in my throat. It’s been hibernating since the week-end, I’m pretty sure. I’m trying to douse it with cough drops, Tylenol, and Dimetapp. I asked the pharmacist at the Rite Aid for some OTC remedies and he suggested the Tylenol, pitching my water bottle since leaving water bottles in the hot car can be a breeding ground for bacteria. He even suggested gargling with salt water. Which I did. You know it’s bad if I voluntarily gargle with salt water. What I need is rest and fluids, one of which comes far more easily than the other.

I’m trying to find the silver lining in it all: At least V is on the mend. At least the M & C didn’t get it. At least it’s not strep. Better to have a sore throat now than something worse later on in the summer. Yeah, I’m not really doing that well at convincing myself either, but that’s how I’m occupying my time between bouts of Tylenol and gargling.

IN: ON: June 27, 2013 TAGS: calgon moment, life, summer BY: Hilary

Tips and Tricks

I get a lot of compliments on my hair. It’s such a blessing and it never fails to take me by surprise. People often ask me what I use in my hair, how I get it to look the way it does, and what advice do I have for their own hair journey.

Hair, hair, everywhere!

I know that I’m not the very first person to ever go natural, but in my social circle, I was a pioneer. I did a big chop and never looked back. At that time, haircare products for natural girls like me were limited to gel and leave-in conditioner. Nowadays, you can’t throw a hairbrush without hitting a transition kit, shea butter based twist wax, and the like. It’s fantasic! There’s Carol’s Daughter, Mixed Chix, Miss Jessie’s, Ouidad, Jane Carter, and more. And yes, I’ve tried them all.

So, while I can’t give you a definite answer on which product works the best (truthfully, humidity, barometric pressure and the planetary alignment have a lot to do with it), I can tell you some tips that have served me in good stead.

1. Never comb or brush your hair dry. This leads to breakage and damage. Natural hair is very gentle, despite it’s strong appearance. Treat it as such.

2. Drink lots of water. Hydrate from the inside as well as the outside.

3. Speaking of hydrating, keep your hair hydrated. I use a combo of water, coconut oil, and conditioner in a spray bottle and give myself a spritz when I’m looking parched about the dome.

4. Use protective styles when you want to switch things up. Protective styles are ones that protect the hair from damage, excessive styling and product application. At my house, our go-to protective style is two-strand twists. I’m branching out to flat twists, as well, but overall, protective styles are like that “Set it and forget it!” machine. Once it’s done, you’re good to go for several days. Be sure to keep it looking nice by using. . .

5. A satin headscarf or satin pillow case. The satin helps prevent breakage as well and keeps your hair lying the same way, whereas non-satin scarves and cases will give you fly-aways.

6. Treat yourself to a deep conditioner, either at home or at the salon.

7. Limit your shampooing to once a week unless you have lots of product build-up or your hair is really oily. When you wash your hair, do it in sections, preferably 4 separate sections so that you thoroughly cleanse the hair and take the time to detangle it.

8. Use an old-shirt or micro-fiber, Turbie Twist type of towel to blot your hair dry. Regular towels are harsh and can lead to breakage. Old tees are soft, and your goal is to blot dry your hair, not vigorously rub it dry like you’re in a Pantene commercial. You want some moisture in your hair because you want to apply some oil in addition to your product. The oil helps to seal in the moisture which keeps your curls and kinks looking healthy.

9. Use oil sparingly. You don’t want to leave oily stains on upholstery and walls, like the Soul Glo folks from “Coming to America”, but you do want use some oil to help maintain the moisture in your scalp and on your hair. I use products that have Moroccan Argan oil already included, but I also use coconut oil as well. I apply it to the pads of my fingers and gently massage it on my scalp. Then I pour a quarter size amount into my palm and smooth it over any areas that look like they need assistance!

10. Get a trim. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but cutting your hair helps stimulate growth and helps to keep it healthy. I used to pick my hair out into a big giant ‘fro and let my dad or my brother go over it with some clippers. Yeah, probably not the best idea, but it got the job done. Now that I’ve *grown up*, I go every six months to a salon — and not one that specializes in natural hair, my stylist just knows her stuff. I get a half-inch taken off, I get it washed and deep conditioned. Then she puts in a touch of product and sends me on my way.

There you have it. 10 things I do to help my curls look their best. Remember, I’m not a hairstylist. I’m just a curly girlie who loves her natural hair. Tell me what works (or doesn’t work) for you!

IN: ON: June 24, 2013 TAGS: advice, hair, life BY: Hilary

recipes

Recipe Friday: Paula Deen Edition

I know I’m a day late on getting this post up, but I’ve been laughing my buns off at the way the Twitter-verse has been skewering Queen of Southern Cuisine, Paula Deen.

For those of you who don’t know, earlier in the week, news media outlets broke the story that Paula Deen, lover of butter and all things fried, had admitted in court to using the N-word, and planning a “slavery themed” wedding. Not surprisingly, Deen found herself in hot water with her fans and non-fans.

Twitter and Facebook nearly shut down as social media was flooded with racially charged jokes and a hashtag (#paulasbestdishes) aimed at Deen. While racism is never funny, I couldn’t help but get the giggles over some of the creative ways Deen has been raked over the coals. Here’s an amuse bouche of tweets: Massa-roni and Cheese; Klan Chowder; Reparations Rice; Separate But Equal Fruit Salad; Cotton Pickin’ Peach Tea; Colored Greens; We Shall Overcome Crumb Cake.

I don’t watch the Food Network. I don’t have any Paula Deen cookbooks. I can’t withdraw my support from her because she never had it in the first place. While she’s probably scrambling to save her crumbling empire, issuing repeated apologies and such, I keep thinking, “She sure can’t unscramble this egg.”

So, with all this sugary, butter, Southern-fried goodness in mind, here’s today’s recipe. I have yet to make this – I’m a Yankee, afterall, but it is going to get added to the roster of comfort foods, for sure. Happy week-end, y’all!

Buttermilk Spoonbread

Buttermilk Spoon Bread courtesy of Baking Bites
1 1/2 cups milk (low fat is fine)
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 cup yellow cornmeal
2 tbsp butter
1 tsp salt
4 large eggs, separated and at room temperature
1 tbsp sugar

Preheat oven to 375F. Grease and flour an 8-inch square casserole dish.
Combine milk, buttermilk and cornmeal in a medium saucepan and bring almost to a boil, stirring regularly.
Once it has reached a simmer, turn heat down and cook for another minute or two, until mixture is thickened.
Stir in butter and salt, then transfer to a bowl to cool down to near room temperature. once it has cooled, whisk in egg yolks.
In a medium bowl, beat egg whites to soft peaks, gradually beating in sugar. Fold into cornmeal base, working in two or three additions. Pour into prepared pan.
Bake for about 25 minutes, until spoon bread is set, but still slightly jiggly, and the top is golden brown.
Serve warm.
serves 6.

IN: recipes ON: June 22, 2013 TAGS: baking, cooking, food, om nom nom, pinterest, recipes BY: Hilary

What to Do? What to Do?

Everyone’s occupied for at least the next 30 minutes and I’m pretty sure I’ll end up wasting every single one of those minutes trying to figure out the best use of my time. Do I try to put a dent in the laundry that is making it’s blob like way from the dryer, out of the laundry room and into the hall? Do I empty the dishwasher so that I can load it back up with today’s (oh, alright and yesterday’s) dishes? Do I sift through the pages and pages of paperwork I have filed in the aptly named “To Read” folder? Do I make a cup of coffee, find something sweet to go with it and just put my feet up for a bit?

I’ve already trolled around on FaceBook (my daily allotment squeezed out like the last bit of toothpaste from the tube). I’ve read the celeb rags and mommy-blogs, as well as HuffPost, MadameNoire, et. al. while I was at the gym. I’ve thought about what we’ll have for dinner, but haven’t really done anything about it beyond think, think, think.

(just a little light summer reading)

My poor little, neglected blog. I have my best ideas for you whenever I’m furthest (farthest?) away from my computer. I’ve tried to make notes to refer back to, but inevitably, the make no sense when I have time and the inclination to write.

My day gets eaten up, Pac-Man style, and with it go all the wonderful tidbits, factoids, and discussion points that I want to share. For instance, I watched this video on the Huffington Post where Tracee Ellis Ross talks about her hair and how as flattering as it is, she doesn’t want you to want her hair. Basically, she’s emphasisiing self-love. Sure, you can admire her hair, but love what you’ve got. The whole video was really sweet and she encouraged viewers to submit their own videos talking about why they love their hair in five words or less. Of course, I was like “Oh, yeah, I will totally do that.” But I was slogging it out on the Stairmaster when I was watching it, and well, here we are. . .still no video. The article itself was a springboard that lead me to think about natural hair, and about this video that I had made where I show you how to do two-strands twists, and then I thought about that demonstration where Black women were encouraging people to touch their hair (oh, no thank you!), and then I thought about this photo project that I want to do about Black women and their hair, and then I thought about the storyboards I have for that project, but I don’t really have a story, I just have some doodles and words and then I thought about how I need to make an appointmen for myself to have a haircut, or a trim rather and wouldn’t it look cute if I got my hair pressed, but then I wouldn’t be able to swim for a while and I really do like swimming and didn’t Mo do awesome in her first swim meet on Monday and really? It’s only Wednesday? I’m tired.

Really, really tired.

And my throat is starting to hurt.

I’ve got a lot of balls in the air, I’m spinning plates, and someone just added a chainsaw and a live chicken. So, I count my blessings (fun fact: I celebrated by 12th wedding anniversary yesterday!). I relax-relate-release. I pour myself a cup of coffee and dig a box of Belgian Almond thins out of the pantry. I’ve got 7 minutes left.

IN: ON: June 19, 2013 TAGS: feel good, instagram, me time, summer BY: Hilary

Summer Fun or Bust

I have started this post several times today and nothing is working. Summer vacation has us in it’s humid and sticky grasp, rendering the best of intentions into nothing more than shiny, sweat-stained puddles.

It hasn’t even been a full week and I need a vacation from the vacation.

The girls are doing some mini camps this week; a few activities that I think they will enjoy. Sometimes I’m right, most of the time, not so much. Mo is enrolled in a 5 day lacrosse camp, just 2 hours a day. Yes, it’s summer. Yes, it’s hot. To hear her tell it, you’d think she’s one of those Temple of Doom kids, working in the mines instead of outside, growing strong and confident in her athleticism. Trying to explain concepts like “privilege”, “fortunate” and “gratitude” without staging a full on after-school special is challenging.

Several posts ago, I mentioned that I was going to try to not over-commit. Aside from the couple of activities that were already on the calendar, I was looking forward to just taking it one day at a time and seeing where the highways and bi-ways of the River City took us. We haven’t got much beyond the circuitous route of home-YMCA-home-library-home-swim practice-home.

Somewhere in the back of my head, I thought that if I had a less regimented summer schedule, I could be one of those parents that just throws the kids, some snacks, and a devil-may-care attitude into the car to spend the day exploring.

But I’m not that kind of mom. I’m pretty sure I’m hardwired against being that kind of mom. I don’t think I have those kinds of kids either, primarily because I’m not that kind of mom. We get in the car and it’s a Battle Royale of who will sit where, who is touching whose book/leg/seatbelt, and why there aren’t any snacks (No, Mom, I mean good snacks).

Smiling faces, excited faces rolling along the road. It’s a fun fantasy to entertain.

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I imagine us laughing along to silly songs on the satellite radio. I toss back washed, organic fruit and chubby bottles of water, which my girls gleefully catch mid-arc. The baby is in high spirits, having just awoken from a well rested nap, as we end up at the zoo/museum/botanical gardens/(and dare I dream) the beach. Our house, just a postcard in the rearview window, we’ve set out for memory making with our good humors intact and run up the car antennae like our house sigil.

And yet. . .

The sun is shimmying down below the horizon tonight as we wheel up the driveway from swim practice. The girls are crabby and water-logged. The baby is a 20 lb. red welt from where the mosquitoes have taken nibble after nibble on her irresistible thighs and arms. The coffee that powered me through the after-lunch lull is dragging me to the finish line of the bedtime routine.

They’ll be fed. They’ll wash and dry. They’ll put on their pj’s inside-out or backwards and simply shrug when I point it out. Nature’s Vitamin D coupled with the sheer fact of being 7, 5, and 1 will wring them out like sodden washcloths. They’ll resist bed, as is their role. I’ll insist on it, as is mine. I’ll tuck them in, and re-tuck when they get up for one more book or one last trip to the toilet. The lights will go out, though the sun will still peer through the blinds, an all-seeing eye.

In the twilight of the day, I’ll sit outside with a sweating glass of water and think about how to re-calibrate things. How to change my attitude? How to change theirs? Can we be free-wheeling and foot-loose, traveling down the road, sharing snacks, busy-bags and memories?

I don’t know, but I’m certainly going to try.

IN: ON: June 11, 2013 TAGS: activities, motherhood, my girls, nerves, summer BY: Hilary

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